memoirs

2009-05-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

i guess i see the line. The other side is my final lunacy.
helplessly scattered around in lil bits along the road i walk.
Wish there were devices which could project whats in ur mind.
and record every moment so u can play it back n actually see the truth.
i guess some lives are meant to be misunderstood...

revisit the present

2008-08-19T15:01:00.000-07:00

Its been a ride. quite a long period of time being skipped, its not the first for us to handle. Living an dlearning, discovering and unravelling dimensions i never considered to be in the circle of existence...a little happiness seems to be the pick of the day...

Athena arrived and it will be a ride for sure. a lot of other things have been happening too.

watch this space...the words might start to roll again.

continued from sumwhere

2007-05-13T05:19:00.000-07:00

but well they killed the rebel a long time down. Go to the second left
downhill and the sixth grave to the right is mine.
He flashed a picture with words gleaming in white ' Here lies the rebel' with his name under it on a dirty tombstone.

What kinda man would get get a grave done for himself while he still lives. I guess thats when the psychosis started to get onto me.

'Im not what the call me, i will never be what they dont think i am. The very misunderstood intellect is the reason. THey believe in other's coining fantasies to be philosophies. killed whoever i am, my innocence my desires, my love.
They happy livin in a famished and underdosed world.I make my remarks and some relate to it. hope it works for some, it doesnt quite matter if it doesnt.
They took everything i wanted to flaunt and they took my desire to get anymore. I live for myself which is a nice thing to do.They can call it philosphy or psychotic belief.
They might find what i explore to be some kind of terra incognita.But well its all all around them. My friend used to say this...lost him too...my self indulgence made me lose people i didnt want to. I live with guilt, fear, remorse, vengence and a few words to express em.'

My pen twitched on the paper trying hard to scribble it down but his tone kept getting hoarse and and tempestuous. that i remember as the time i wish i cud run away...as fast as i could...

They want answers to some nescient questions. THey have the answers and they DONT WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM.

2007-05-11T14:27:00.000-07:00

am a mystic poet words mean more than expression to me
i swim past the lake into the ocean
rub my hands with the dust of evocation

am a mystic saint floating on a zephyr
close my eyes and watch the world aquire
desires, some untold lust burning with the fire

am a mystic reconciler hallucinating peace
they shred me to pieces and celebrate
they give them a holiday, pass me some dismay

am a mystic wanderer floats across shangrila
scorched by the demons and kissed by the angels
eclipsed sensitivity but immune to hate.

2007-05-09T02:56:00.000-07:00

its a spider eat spider world out here. Caught in our own sappy web.Devising

plans every day every second we breath leading to destruction to laugh at sumbody

else's demise.Kill, eat, survive with a cannibalistic rage disguised in a

corporate masquerade. Awful yet very pleasurable for the sinister side of our

soul.We love rape, murder, molestation. Hidden beneath a smile a well camoflauged

real existence. Jekyl and hyde both equally criminal. There are no morals that

teach love. No lessons, experience put us in a momentary lapse of hate but when

it comes back it comes back with a vengence. What do we need to survive this

surreal existence? Do we need to survive...cant we live? CAn we?But on what?

2007-05-07T11:42:00.000-07:00

What drives a person to be foolish? is it that most of the 'society' requires them to be profiled prfoundly stupefied? There are times where using your head makes a difference, TO understand someone or yourself.But well we deny it, mostly to be a part of the rest. Complain, regret ...we can avoid them so easily but well it gets us high.Excuse me for my ignorance,well excused ...or maybe not.
Who am i to judge you? really...
the weird ways of what they think is countering any valid point in either a very not so funny way, which in turn they consider to be funny. Darn wish they could do any better than that.Let the illusions they created preserve their happiness or whatever they would prefer to call it. Let the complains reign and let the complications stepup. Reality?civilization, development?phantasmagoric comic strips....
It gets sickeningly interesting by the day. truth addicts get destroyed by the minute. Iam going to join them soon. AHmen to that... let it all burn with the sun let it all reduce to ashes and rise up n be one and free.

2007-05-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

Unravel the paradox, me the mad scientist on the loose.I create and destroy as you breathe right now. More than mystery lies here, an enigma. Let me introduce you to...Truth. Rarely tried to be understood, Often misconcieved and usually ignored. The verity will not be discussed, spoken about and will be sealed within the closed boundaries of moist skin which folds to voice emotions.A chance asked to understand the lunatic is assailable.

life is not quotidian here. the mystic will die as soon as the human responds.

We dont need a superhero

2007-05-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

Love is dispossessed.
Its all about what you own. Does it matter how easily disposable

it is? IT does, not for everyone though. Or let me pull the

statistics... atleast not for 90 percent on this populous terra

firma.The other 10 percentage of imbeciles can stay wasted.Was looking at the moon for a while today, thanks to the a.p electricity board...i took time to connect with nature[ breathe in..breathe out]

Insane, amusing,denounced, new feelings ..infact they just the old ones revisited.
SPiderman-3 all geared up to swing tomorrow. Im not exited anymore. WAs a cpl o weeks back. Just another fictional crapola.
We need more than a superhero, or do we?
Organised crime dwells on the streets,in your house,at school, colleges and well everywhere and it will not cease.
This world doesnt need superheroes...IT needs PEOPLE who can atleast try to be HUMAN.

2007-05-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

Pursuit, A search for an alternative that meets cognitive criteria.
Happiness, emotions exhibited by specimen in the state of well being.

Nobody wants to be happy nor do they want to pursue it. I twisted my foot while getting down the stairs, almost ran into a truck for i couldnt drive with all that sand in my eyes . DUST in the wind hehe.
Came home feeling nauseous.it aint bothering me anymore. People dont like what they got. GLam always will overpower everythin else..it sells and everyones buying.
Human minds are easily understandable, making it real difficult for me to react at times. YOu can see it coming but when it hits you it just leaves u befuddled.Theories, the isms and the paradox...very amusing. I always colligate intellect with being rational and
creative, huh but well i guess different people have varied perceptions and they rather be nasty than TRY to interpret.
SOme day things will change hopefuly, this world does become a better place, more beautiful, with more love.

Im lost...bemused...confounded and lately sick. just gets better by the day. TY everyone.

2007-05-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

Bought some electronic merchandise after rummaging through my wallet for the right bills to give away. A DVD RW finally and an mp3 player.. phillips.
kinda bad on the toto volume levels but well its just fine.

Had sum Mosambi juice to get me through the May 1 humidity. The heats getting into my head causing the brain to take those darned breaks too many times. more tomorrow...maybe

SO what...

2007-04-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

Okie i will continue what i started sometime when i feel like it. FOr now Iam anxious about the movie. 2 restless days in an innova drivin all around hyderabad. Senseless jokes and myriad crazy moments. I guess it was life in 2 days. Life in its wildest possible ways treated us to a different level of entertinment.Took us behind the scenes of a few minute long journey on the tv screens.
Those couple of days made me contemplate a lot. When you grow tired and weary ... your head tends to spin in an
anticlock motion or sometimes absolutely haywire and weird thoughts occur to you than.

Will leave you with a bit of that grrr...

Encounters of some kind

2007-04-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

I feel molested by the society's routine. THe observations i make

limit to myself.YOu may want to consider that to be a statuatory

warning.THeir insanity is my closest definition to being sane.Al

it would turn out to be will be a disastrous article for your

career in the reality fabrication depeartment.
The man spoke as he walked around the table five times , lost in

his own neverending world.
I tried bein a happy approachable guy with the rest b4, they just

don't get it. They underestimate my ego..'i got a huge one,

grinning gently.
I liked what you said in the beginning... would know u b4 i write

anythin about you. Nice, i wish more people were into the truth

and not their own vivid and vulgur perceptive fairy tales.I will

tell you my story, the darkest and the brightest nooks and ends.

THe times where i wanted to kick myself on my ass and times when

i desperately needed a pat on the back but couldnt draw enough

attention.My story of love and the love of hate for me. Well the

road is not easy, everybody knows that.
But we love complaining, being a nettlesome prick, bother

ourselves and the few others around. We arent considerate about

other's time either.What do we look for? guess a healthy paycheck

to ill in ur bowel to let it reach the pot safe next morning. or

maybe a few quicker ways to die. Stories have been scattered all

across what they study. clues to the hidden treasure, the missing

piece o the jigsaw. all out there. What did u do before coming

here?

'Did my little homework about you, not a lot i could get my hands

on considering how media friendly you are. Well whatever i could

gather, made a few new friends...'

'Thats nice but did your curiousity for unraveling a mystery rise

or understanding the mystery?

I guess a bit of both

" interesting lets see where i all ends up.EVen i am exited now.

THe fervor i spotted in his eyes was noticable. I wondered where

i saw it last, the mirror yes,when i was going for my first date.

Why am i comparing though?... my thoughts were timely ended by

his voice.

When does a rebel emerge? or who is a rebel. they called me one

lately. yes i do believe the insurgent was a part of me for a

while now,. I have my belief intact, and i respect it. People are

sposed to do it u know.
..to be contd.